& short thoughts on each
Broadly, I enjoy novels that unflinchingly model the interior life of a character or characters grappling with something they can't directly face. I think literature's main value is in guiding the reader to a unique, unnameable emotion they will carry forever.
Fifteen Dogs is my favorite novel. it's heartrending, tragic, and utterly overflowing with love. read in a single sitting, punctuated by bouts of ugly crying. i have one of prince's poems committed to memory, and i often mutter it to myself when thinking about death.
The Once and Future King was assigned to me in an arthurian seminar i took during my english degree. i was half-assing my readings at the time, and skipped most of it. before the exam, i sat in douglas library and read the concluding book, 'the candle in the wind', in one sitting. i was surprised by how devastated i was over the collapse of the round table, and how much it stuck in the back of my head afterward. years later, when i first moved to nyc, i found a used copy at a bookstand. this time, i read it slowly, mostly on my commute. 'the ill-made knight' tore my heart up and further deepened my appreciation for 'the candle in the wind'. i'll think about lancelot forever: "he felt in his heart cruelty and cowardice, the things which made him brave and kind".
Stoner is the first novel i read after finishing my english degree. it left me speechlessly grateful for having had the chance to study literature.
The Road is an old favorite. at fourteen, it was the most uncompromising, 'adult' novel i'd ever experienced. the brutality shocked me into reverence, the ending made me cry. i re-read it twice more in high school and decided that i won't return to it until i'm a father.
Never Let Me Go is my favorite novel from ishiguro, my favorite author. while i read this one in high school (and liked it), my appreciation for ishiguro was deepened by my favorite university professor assigning his novels in most of her classes. i'm always moved by the way he renders quiet, muddled interiority, doing so much with so little, slowly and generously guiding his characters to agonizing catharsis. after reading klara and the sun, remains of the day, and the buried giant, i re-read never let me go during a daylong personal retreat and was more devastated than i thought i possibly could be by a story i already knew the ending to.
Norwegian Wood is my favorite coming-of-age novel, one of those rare books that found me at the perfect time in life. it's a hard one to talk about on a personal level, but i think it's ugly in the ways a story about a young man ought to be ugly, and beautiful in all the ways a story about a young man ought to be beautiful.
Models I return to
Meditation from Cold Start to Complete Mastery: a Manual of Global Wayfinding Meditation is the most useful, granular guide to inner work i've ever encountered. as a kid, i struggled with the limitations of language. sure, i can talk about what's "going on in my head", but the things "in my head" aren't just language, and any language in my head begets more language, faster than i could possibly speak out loud... of anything i've read related to inner work, this project is the best at meeting me in the middle of that paradox. i really admire the ambition, and return to pick through it regularly.
A Path With Heart is one i'm still working through, but feel an incredible amount of warmth toward. a lot of spiritual material feels very sterile to me, but this book reads as close to a wise friend as text can.
The Age of Surveillance Capitalism defines a remarkably useful vocabulary for talking about the relationship between tech companies and the public.
...Three, Two, One, Contact: Times Square Red describes an incredibly obvious and useful distinction between 'contact' and 'networking' interactions. one of those forks that can't be unseen.
Three Hundred Ways It Can Hurt To Be a Man is a rare, comprehensive, vulnerable reflection on the way men struggle. too much writing on men's issues is reactionary or neurotically hedged. while i don't agree with all three hundred, i'm deeply grateful this document exists. it made me feel loved and seen in a way little else has.
Games are broadly wasted on gamers
Street Fighter III: Third Strike is a classic i played competitively for a number of years in my early 20's. urien main. retired after placing 17th out of ~1104 at EVO 2024.
Rain World is the primary reason i have faith in games as a valid artform. raw and gorgeous. ignore the dlc.
Spelunky is a perfectly-tuned risk-vs-reward sandbox, and the only game i've ever felt compelled to 100%.
Nuclear Throne is a direct injection game-as-visceral-sensory-pleasure. where developers throw around the term 'juice', this is the gold standard.
Dark Souls is one of those masterpieces that has been discussed to death. it's here because it really is that good.
Other things
The Toronto Blue Jays are my favorite sports team, and a link to my time in canada. their 2025 world series run showed me how beautiful sports can be, and what a privilege it can be to love something that might amount to nothing. they'll break my heart for the rest of my life.
Hunter x Hunter is my favorite shonen. shonen was incredibly formative genre for me; i was obsessed with dragon ball z as a sixth-grader, and read all of naruto, bleach, and fullmetal alchemist in middle school. i finally watched the 2011 hunter x hunter anime while in university, and loved it in a direct, unmistakable way. it had everything i really appreciated about the shonen that scaffolded my childhood imagination, along with countless sharp twists and a hard edge that kept me on my toes. a few years later, i read the manga, and loved that even more. i have a lot of appreciation for graphic novels/comics/sequential art in general, and togashi is my favorite practitioner of the form on a technical level. i love how effortlessly his panels flow, how good he is at using empty space and page-turns, his ability to render incredibly specific, strained emotions, the way he'll freely switch up fundamental elements of his artstyle to set specific moods or emphasize specific moments. the fact he applied these talents to tell my favorite story in one of my most beloved childhood genres is such a joy.
r!animorphs is a rationalist re-write of the animorphs franchise. i read in a delirious frenzy after a breakup. it's in desperate need of an editor. i don't put it here willingly; it was just too much fun to even try and pretend i didn't love it. big fan of the xenofiction segments and way it unflinchingly throws its characters into blatantly unfair situations. also appreciate how, despite really needing an editor, it stuck the ending impressively well.
Yung Lean is my favorite musician, and i am deeply grateful to have grown up watching him grow as an artist. many of his albums are direct emotional stand-ins for chapters of my life.
Maud Lewis reminds me of nova scotia, where much of my family is from. her work makes me feel soft and safe.
Neon Genesis Evangelion blew up my entire life at fifteen. nothing since has ever moved me as much. i'm not sure anything possibly could. i was left in a stupor, staring at the ceiling, unable to think or really talk about anything else for weeks. i waited nine years to re-watch it, and was struck by how this time i could only see the characters as children rather than as my peers. i consider end of evangelion to be one of the most important life-affirming experiences i've ever had, and i can't imagine who i would be without it.